It begins

This gallery contains 1 photo.

And so it begins. While I have enjoyed writing all of my life, I started taking it more seriously years ago. And, like any idiot, I started by trying to write a book. The story was good, but after a … Continue reading →

Writer News

You’ll notice the title of this post is writer news, not writing news. Lots happening, and I am a firm believer that change is good…good and scary!

My sweetie and I have decided to move in with my parents. My folks are aging, and my dad has legally been declared blind. They need more help than we can give them from here. My brother, sister, and brother in law are being super supportive, but it’s still a herculean task. My large, 2-bedroom apartment is crammed full of stuff that I have to pare down to two rooms worth and odds and ends. We’ve lived here for something like 14 years, and it shows. I’ve barely gotten a start on it, and it’s depressing how far I have to go. My job is very physically demanding, and it’s hard to deal with all the crap in the apartment and my job at the same time. I’ve just started and I’m worn out! I swear, if I had the money, I’d just quit the job now and work on sorting, trashing, and moving. The sooner we get moved the better, in my opinion.

Then there’s my mom’s house, also full of stuff. A lifetime of dreams and memories, and while she is thrilled that we are moving in, it’s very hard to figure out which dreams and memories to store and which to throw away in order to make room for her daughter, fiancé, 3 cats, two ferrets, and 2 goldfish.

And that’s just the stuff issues. I’ll be leaving my job, my health insurance, my independent lifestyle, and my ability to run around the house completely naked any time I want. Sure, my dad is blind, he wouldn’t care one way or the other, but it just doesn’t seem right to run around naked in your parents house.

I’ll gain a lot as well. Four people sharing living expenses is cheap, and I ought to be able to work part time and have more time for writing. I’ll be able to stop worrying about my folks, because I’ll be right there. I’ll have a yard to play with, and have the ability to plant a small vegetable garden for the first time in my adult life. I’ll also have a car payment to worry about, but I do not want to get rid of my pretty little red car. Three quarters of my stuff, no problem, but not the car!

My sweetie is super supportive, and bless all the powers that be that he’ll be standing by my side through all of this. He’s sweet, and patient, and funny, and altogether wonderful. Anxiety girl couldn’t get through this without him.

So that’s my life right now, scary and wonderful. I still have a month to wait on the exclusive read that’s out with Ghost in the Park, and I’m fretting about that as well. My short story, Winter, is about to be published by Krakenhaus, so that’s exciting! And Wyrd House is on temporary hiatus, because I don’t seem to have two brain cells to rub together right now. Never fear, gentle readers, I’ll keep working on it! Updates are going to continue to be very slow, and now you know why.

I’m spinning my life on its ear. Wish me luck!

I’ve lived in Louisville longer than any other place in my life. I sure am going to miss it.

Stamping Out Cheesy Announcer Dude

I recently had a battle with my own query letter, and I’ve been attempting to help others with their queries. I enjoy doing this. As I state in my query crits, I am not a query rock star, but the advice I received on my own query was invaluable, and I want to help others in whatever small way that I can.

Folks say that one should try writing one’s query in the voice of the MC, which is sound advice for an effective query style. That’s what I tried to do with my first query.

Enter Cheesy Announcer Dude.

“Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, Our Hero must find the secret of life, the universe, and everything, or it will be the end of the line for life as we know it. With the help of Feisty Sidekick, Our Hero will unknot the twisted threads of fate and begin a mission to steal the Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator, as well as our hearts, before the final curtain falls. Will he save our collective bacon? Find out next time, on Query Letter Hell! Same bat time, same bat channel!”

Yes, I’m exaggerating. But I see him. I see Cheesy Announcer Dude everywhere. In every query like my own first attempt, where the author is trying so intently to bring some life to his query and get an agent’s attention. CAD loves clichés. He loves the false sense of urgency and excitement that they create. He loves rhetorical questions and mysterious statements, as they make him feel that this will cause the reader to want to read more. CAD is an idiot, and no self-respecting agent will give him the time of day. (See what I did there?)

To defeat CAD, I recommend the following:
-Remove any phrase that sounds least bit clichéd.
-Remove any questions.
-Remove mysterious statements, such as, “Our Hero is set to retrieve the stolen falcon, but something stands in his way.” We want to know what “Something” is.
-Be specific to your particular story at all times.
-Try telling the pitch from your MC’s POV, which will naturally get rid of CAD.

This advice might seem obvious, but CAD is so intrusive and sneaky that he is hard to stamp out, and stamp him out you must. Once I realized what I was doing, and how CAD was invading my own query letter, I had a much easier time fixing it. While many kind people told me of my cliché use, I didn’t truly understand what was happening until I realized I was not writing from my MC’s POV, but from the POV of some late night television show announcer.

Search your query letters and blurbs. Find Cheesy Announcer Dude, and kill him with fire.

Update News- Wyrd House

My paranormal romance, Wyrd House, has been updated at last! Chapter eleven can be found here. Sorry for the long delay between chapters. As I have mentioned before, the new job and some work on Ghost in the Park slowed me down somewhat. Hopefully, I’ll be able to update a little faster.

As always, if you see a typo or other oopsie, please feel free to let me know either in the comments, or by emailing me at JulianneQJohnson @ Gmail (dot) com.

Hope you enjoy chapter 11!

The Pink Palace, Old Louisville

When it rains it pours

Ok, I know I just posted, but I’m still amazed, so I want to share more fully with you what happened today.

The past few weeks, I’ve spent some time rewriting my first chapter of Ghost in the Park. I’ve known for some time that the first chapter was weak, but it took some advice from a writing buddy to give my brain the jog it needed to figure out what to do with it. The chapter is still weak, but it is much improved.

Then, last week, I did some major work on my query letter, with the help of the great folks at my favorite writing forum, Absolute Write’s Water Cooler. Posted the new version, got some great feedback. Some of it I agreed with, some I didn’t, but all was helpful. The ever wonderful and supportive fiancé, Brian, also added his two cents, which was super helpful, as he’s read the entire book.

Yesterday, I sent out a total of four queries, to agents vetted for legitimacy and coolness. This morning I got the first full request from agent A, requesting a 7-8 week exclusive read. That’s long, but not unheard of. I balked at the length and offered 4, but Agent A stuck to their guns. Agent A also took the time to email back and forth with me, explaining their process and answering questions. I was impressed by both their candor and willingness to take the time to explain. In short, I like how they talked to me. If they are willing to take this much time with someone not even in the process yet, they must be awesome with their clients. Feeling less nervous, I accepted the long exclusive read.

Then fifteen minutes later, I received a request for the full from Agent B, and had a micro heart attack! It happens. I emailed Agent B back, explained the exclusive I had out, and asked if I could send the ms when it was over. Agent B said yes, and asked to be kept in the loop. Yay for Agent B! Some agents just say no thanks, and give up on you when you tell them you have another agent interested. Not my intrepid Agent B!

Now, none of this means I’ll get signed. And I still think the first chapter and the query letter need some fine tuning. But sending out 4 queries and getting 2 requests for fulls tells me I am on the right track.

So, my fellow writers, never give up, never surrender!

This pic is from a number of years ago when it flooded in my neighborhood. That man is boating in the middle of the street. Seemed appropriate.

Writing News- Ghost in the Park

I apologize for the slow updating of Wyrd House lately.  The new job, and some reworking on Ghost in the Park, has taken most of my time.  But the reworking has been useful.  I did a re-write on both my first chapter, and my query letter, making improvements to both.  Sent a handful of query letters out to agents yesterday, and got 2 full manuscript requests today!  I know that’s still a long way from getting signed, but I haven’t had any requests in a long time, and this has perked me up considerably.

Yay me!

It’s Spring! Why is it so cold?

Our definition of “contemporary” is out of date

A thread on my favorite writer forum, Absolute Write’s Water Cooler, reminded me of something that I’ve been questioning myself.  Our culture seems very slow to re-qualify what constitutes terms such as “classic” and “historical.”

Case in point, if you ask a publisher or agent what qualifies as a “historical” novel, you will get some differing opinions.  Most say “pre-World War II.”  Some go so far as to say “pre-World War I.”

I say, “You have to be kidding me.”

Let’s look at that WWII example.  That means that anything post 1945 is considered “contemporary.”  This, by the way, is the most used qualification for what is considered historical in fiction.  That means that something that happened sixty-seven years ago is considered a contemporary piece.  Those folks who use WWI as an example, that war ended ninety-five years ago.  That’s right folks.  Anything that happened in the last ninety-five years should be considered contemporary in the literary world.

I submit to you that these definitions are outdated to the point of becoming silly.  No one who is going to the bookstore, or browsing through Amazon looking for a contemporary novel to read, is looking for one written about what happened nearly a century ago.  In my opinion, a novel set in 1953 should not qualify for contemporary.  That’s sixty years ago, and an era that bears little resemblance to the world today.

“Why is this important?” you seem to ask.  Surely, this has no real effect on the real world?

The failure of society to update the way we view what is classic or historical is having an effect on the real world in some cases.  I recently had a part time job as a prescription delivery person.  I delivered solely to nursing homes.  This point really hit me when I walked into a brand new establishment to deliver meds.  It’s a beautiful building.  It’s been stocked full of new equipment and kind staff.  It is decorated completely in the Victorian style.

The Victorian era ended in 1901.  Now, when my grandmother was in a nursing home and suffering from memory loss, a Victorian themed nursing home would have been just the thing.  Waking in a building decorated in the style of her early childhood would have been very comforting.

Imagine, if you will, the current eighty year old patient.  He wakes in a building, his memory muddled, and not knowing exactly where he is. He looks around and sees a place decorated in a fashion that even his grandparents may not have used.  Nothing reminds him of who he is or where he comes from other that what personal effects are allowed in his room.

I think that someone, sometime, realized that the Victorian age was comforting to the residents in their care because it reminded them of their childhood.  That then became “Victorian décor comforts old people” and it never changed with the times.

My father was born in the forties, had his formative years in the fifties, and would feel like he was visiting a museum if he was stuck in the current nursing home norm of décor, which thankfully he is not.  What is wrong with people?  Where are the nursing homes in the style of the fifties?  Where are the juke boxes and pink and black tile?  Why do we chose one set of qualifications, and then decide that we are done?

I suggest to the folks that have decided what constitutes “historical” in the literary world to consider updating their qualifications, especially those pre-WWI enthusiasts.  I fear that even five years from now, when their view of what constitutes contemporary fiction is 100 years old, they will stick to the same out-dated qualifications.

“Contemporary” dress

Writing Tip: Don’t say what “seems” to be. Describe what IS.

Good writing advice from the lovely Victoria.

Writing Tip: Don’t say what “seems” to be. Describe what IS..

Querying agents. Stiff upper lip and all that…

Blog post from the lovely Cassandra about the trials and tribulations of Query letter writing.

Querying agents. Stiff upper lip and all that….

Update News- Wyrd House

I have finally updated my paranormal romance novel, Wyrd House, and you can find chapter 10 here.

I apologize for the wait. I have been a busy girl. I’ve just left my job, and I start a new job next week. I’m glad of the change, but the circus of interviews and resignation letters, not to mention saying goodbye to the kiddos I worked with, took its toll. It was hard to think the past few weeks, let alone get any serious writing done. Now that I have a week off, I hope to get another chapter or two finished before I start the new job.

To make up a little for the delay, this is the longest chapter yet! The whole thing has hit 30k words, and it won’t be long before we hit the halfway mark. As always, if you see a typo or something that doesn’t make sense, feel free to tell me about it. You can comment here, or send me an email to JulianneQJohnson@gmail (dot) com. (Odd format is to foil the spam bots, make sure you fix the dot before sending.)

Special thanks to alert reader and friend, Trina, for finding a nasty little typo in the last chapter. Thanks, sweetie, you rock!

In other writing news, the short story anthology I had hoped to pitch my short story, Jinky, to has suddenly changed to an all fantasy/ Sci Fi format. Just what we need, yet another epub or magazine going all Sci Fi/ Fantasy on us. No disrespect to the publication in question, but I write mystery/ thriller! :p So when I get the time, I’ll have to check out the mystery publishers and try to find a home for Jinky.

I’m on hiatus from querying Ghost in the Park. I am planning to try to get another writing credit or two before I continue. It’s possible to get an agents attention without any credits, but it’s very hard. As impatient as I am, I know it’s likely to take a year or two to get an agent, if I get one at all. I’ve only been looking for around six months, so I can’t complain. Well, I can, and do, but probably shouldn’t.

Happy reading everyone!

The Pink Palace- Old Louisville

Child’s play

Reblogged from Bijal:

Is children’s theatre finally growing up?

(Or in which I finally interview Naseeruddin Shah)

http://www.timeoutmumbai.net/kids/features/child%E2%80%99s-play

Actor-director Naseeruddin Shah remembers seeing Arms & the Man, George Bernard Shaw’s satire on war and heroism, when he was six years old. “I was lucky enough to be exposed to a lot of theatre early enough in school,” said Shah. “I was studying at St Joseph in Nainital when I think I saw Shakespeareana  performing the play.

Read more… 659 more words

This. So many so called "children's" plays are little more that Barney the dinosaur on stage. Children are young, not stupid. Best children's play I ever saw was a version of Don Quixote at the Alley in Houston. It was simplified but not made stupid. We got letters from kids who could barely write, talking about Don Q and his dreamworld. They totally got it.